Profile Pictures

Profile pictures to read “Pray for Charleston.” The newsman says an active shooter is downtown. Bombs tear through crowds in Paris. Pray for Paris. Or are we praying for Barcelona? A man drives his van through a crowd there. No one hears of Beirut. The President is dumb. A tweet shared 1.1 million times. Retweet…

Just A Baby

When Corrie was a toddler, she was short and round; her dark hair cut into a bowl-like shape that would remind you of Scout from To Kill a Mocking Bird. Her cheeks and her legs were the chubbiest; her thighs reminiscent of those gigantic turkey legs you get at the state fair. As adorable as…

This One’s For You

Happy Mother’s Day to the tired moms, the ones who hand their child the iPad so they can get just one more hour of sleep on Saturday mornings. And to the ones who forget to send lunch money three days in a row. Happy Mother’s Day to the busy moms. The ones who are frazzled…

It Happened To Me

“If you don’t tell anybody, no one will ever know,” the dental hygienist said to me as we walked to the appointment desk after my visit. “I have to tell my Mama. I tell her everything,” I replied. My bi-annual trips to the dentist have always been two of my favorite days of the year….

Dad

My Dad told me he was proud of me today. It came in the form of a simple text message but that was enough. I cannot remember the last time he said that to me. Maybe when making the honor roll in elementary school. Maybe when I graduated. Maybe. But nothing sticks out in my…

Back to School Shoes

I’m going to tell you the boring stuff first. I have problems. I was at the ripe old age of 24 when I noticed the first patch. But everyone gets crusty elbows every blue moon, right? Not moisturizing enough. Taking my baths too hot. Crusty elbow DNA. That’s what I figured anyway. I started being…

We will always have Taco Bell at 2am

When I heard the news, I tried to remember the last time I talked to Richele. Was it when I saw her at the Hickory Point? She was buying a six-pack of beer and I was pumping gas. She wore a pair of flared-leg blue jeans, the kind she’s worn since 1995, the year we…

Drugs, Welfare and Bad Math

After I was offered a position with my current employer in January 2015, the human resource department made clear to me that the offer was contingent on three things: first, my ability to pass a background check; second, a worthy credit history; and third, my passing a drug screening. In fact, the majority of my…

The WWII Box and The Stolen Truck: 3 Things I’ve Learned

I’d just returned to the office from jury duty on Monday when I got word that our company’s stolen truck had been located. It had been stolen from the alley behind our building a week before. The police had located the truck about 50 miles north, in Greenville, SC. They arrested and charged the man…

"19 Kids and Cancelled" – Why It’s Bullshit

“You can’t comfort the afflicted without afflicting the comfortable.” Diana, Princess of Wales TLC has temporarily pulled all episodes of the show “19 Kids and Counting” from their schedule as well as online. Ace Hardware pulled their advertising from the show as did David’s Bridal and Payless Shoes. General Mills joined CVS, Walgreens, H&R Block,…

Rock Hild, SC – Paradise Found

I was only two months shy of 20 when my daughter was born. By the time she was three I was separated and headed for divorce. It was fine by me though. My wedding reception had nothing on the festivities that surrounded my divorce. In fact, the only thing I mourned following my divorce was…

Happy Mother’s Day. Call me!

Chris always jokes that his two sisters should move back into his mother’s house because they talk on the phone far more than he understands. At the very least there is a daily phone call, many times more. And between the three of them they don’t miss their daily chats just because there might be…