Moms Suck (it up)

You’ve heard the story a million times. Nursing Mom whips out her boob in the middle of Costco and some rude, heartless employee asks her to put her milk maker away and feed the hungry infant elsewhere. How dare they?

Just last week in Charlotte, NC a mother asked employees at the Discovery Place museum if she could move a bench so that she could breast feed more comfortably. Well, guess what the asshole employees told her? You guessed it. They told her no and directed her to a restroom where she could feed her famished babe. The incensed mother later posted a photo of a bathroom stall to Facebook with a caption that said something like “This is where they told me to breastfeed my baby.” Cries of support for the woman spread like wildfire across social media sites as the post went viral. Perhaps my favorite show of support for the maddened Mommy was the comment that read “I would have asked the employee if they ate their dinner in the bathroom.”

Ugh……please tell me this isn’t the logic you want to use? Because, no, I don’t eat my dinner in a bathroom but I don’t eat it in the middle of a damn museum either.
Don’t get me wrong, I was a breastfed baby as was my own daughter. So I’m not knocking nursing. However, simply because you decide to nurse your child does not mean everyone around you should want to see you do it. Suggesting that we be more tolerant of your exposed boob in the middle of Barnes and Noble, proposes exactly that and it absolutely infuriates me.

But the breast feeding Mom has nothing on this next gem.

An idiot Mom in Texas was appalled on Friday when she was asked to leave a local pizzeria after changing her child’s diaper at the table…where she and her other two children were dining…among many other restaurant goers. The mom explained to local media that she felt it was her only choice to change her daughter’s dirty diaper at the table since the restaurant did not have a changing table in the bathroom. It was either the table or the bathroom floor, she said. And because she felt it would be too inconvenient to take her brood to her Ford Aerostar waiting in the parking lot, she chose the table.

What is it with these “the world revolves around me and my kid” moms? Just because you are a mother does not mean that you can blatantly disrespect every other human being in your presence. And it’s always the same type of Mom, too. You know, the tree-hugging granola ones who use words like co-sleeping and baby wearing and who insist on drug free labor while squatting naked for 14 hours along the bank of a river? Yeah, those Moms.

Those are the entitled Moms. The ones who think that because breastfeeding is “natural” they have the right to bare boob wherever the hell they please, be it the Wells Fargo on the corner or their kindergartner’s parent teacher night (the kindergartner they are probably still breastfeeding). These are the Moms who take the whole Mom thing to a disgustingly obnoxious level. These are the Moms who think that every public restroom on the planet should have a changing table for their baby. And these are the Moms who just to spite the business owners who don’t will change their child’s shitty diaper at the table in the middle of a public dining room.

Motherhood has never been about convenience. Motherhood is about your child getting the alien projectile puke virus the night before you are to start a new job. It’s about your child pooping in the bath water just as you are about to towel them off. Motherhood is hungry children an hour after feeding them and it’s reading them their favorite book 6 times before bed and your kid knowing when you try to skip a page. Motherhood is dragging your child out of the drug store because they are pitching a fit for the $16 plastic pail and shovel they saw in the toy section. And motherhood is missing a school play because of work demands. Motherhood is forgoing that second glass of wine on Saturday night just in case there is an unexpected trip to the emergency room. And motherhood is making time for Daddy at 5am on a Saturday morning behind a locked bathroom door.

Motherhood is your infant child needing a feeding or a diaper change during the middle of dinner or during your trip to the local museum. It’s also taking them home or to the car to meet their needs. It’s not always convenient. It’s not always fun. And it’s certainly not everyone’s job to make it easier for you to be a mother.

You chose motherhood. Suck it up.

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