This One’s For You

Happy Mother’s Day to the tired moms, the ones who hand their child the iPad so they can get just one more hour of sleep on Saturday mornings. And to the ones who forget to send lunch money three days in a row.

Happy Mother’s Day to the busy moms. The ones who are frazzled and who are never on time because their kid’s socks “feel funny.”

Happy Mother’s Day to the single moms who do it alone and to the married ones who feel like they are doing it alone.

Happy Mother’s Day to the heartbroken moms who fake a smile for their children each day when their gut is telling them to go back to bed and cry.

Happy Mother’s Day to the moms with goldfish crackers smashed into the carpet of their minivans and sippy cups thrown into the floor board. You know, the sippy cups that held apple juice that’s now fermented into something resembling prison hooch? Yeah, Happy Mother’s Day to you, too.

Happy Mother’s Day to the moms who finally broke down and bought the mini-van. Yes, we are laughing but it’s the nervous kind of laughter – praying our day will never come but accepting the fact that it probably will.

Happy Mother’s Day to the moms who have bailed their children out of jail and to the ones who’ve watched their children choose drugs over life. We pray with you and for you that your child comes back to you soon.

Happy Mother’s Day to the broke moms. The ones who wear ratty shoes and often skip dinner because there is only enough for one. You are the true definition of love.

Happy Mother’s Day to the moms who’ve lost. It’s okay to cry today. It’s okay to cry every day. We love you and our souls ache for you.

Happy Mother’s Day to the moms who carried a child on their hip to high school graduation. Your choices will not define you forever. You can go to college. You can graduate.

Happy Mother’s Day to the moms who’ve chosen adoption. You are among the most selfless people on this earth. Happy Mother’s Day to you, too.

Happy Mother’s Day to the advocate moms, the ones who fight the good fight for their children, especially for those who cannot fight for themselves.

Happy Mother’s Day to the moms whose children are gay. Never mind what other people say because he, too, was made in God’s image.

Happy Mother’s Day to the aging Mom who when they sit crisscross apple sauce on the floor for a tea party, wonder how they will get back up.

Happy Mother’s Day to the moms battling cancer. We know you are scared. We know you are tired but as long as you are here we will fight alongside with you, loving you just as you have loved.

Happy Mother’s Day to the moms who’ve held vomit in their hands, had poop under their fingernails, and urine in their faces. It’s a dirty job and Dad has a weak gag reflex.

Happy Mother’s Day to the Dads who are also moms. We see you and you are amazing. Let us know if we can help with the period and sex talks down the road.

Happy Mother’s Day to the brand-new moms. Aaaahahahahahahahaha!

Happy Mother’s Day to the moms whose nest will soon be empty. You only get a week to be sad. After that, go buy sex toys and liquor. 18 years, you deserve it. You can thank me later.

Happy Mother’s Day to the drunk mom. We feel you. We feel you.

Happy Mother’s Day to the moms of millennials. We also feel you.

Happy Mother’s Day to the mom who works day in and day out to give their children better than they had. They will thank you…one day.

Happy Mother’s Day to the mom who sometimes misses soccer games and award ceremonies. We know you’re doing your very best. Your kid will be okay.

Happy Mother’s Day to the moms who feel like they never get it right. The truth is, no one gets it right 100% of the time, regardless of their Facebook and Instagram posts. In fact, there are far more losses than wins when it comes to motherhood. Take it all in stride.

Happy Mother’s Day to the moms who think their kid is perfect. There is still plenty of time for them to prove you wrong. We’re here for you when they do.

And Happy Mother’s Day to the moms who wonder if they will make it out alive. Take it from a Mom who has been almost every Mom written about here – you will.

Your face will have new wrinkles and your hair will start to go grey. You will lay awake at night, stomach churning until you hear their car door slam at 2am. Your worry will interrupt your work days and make it difficult to focus. You will learn what heart break truly feels like the first time your child feels it. Your tears will become a close friend. You will ache as you watch your child lose their innocence. You will hurt them on more than one occasion. But you will also memorize their laugh and the way their tiny fingers felt in your hand. You will know absolute joy after seeing the light in their eyes on Christmas morning. Your heart will swell with pride as you watch them accomplish goals and learn from their failures. And you will know exactly what it is like to be someone’s first love.

So, while you spend your special day changing diapers, packing lunches, forgetting to write checks for lunch money and remembering there is spoiled milk in the fridge, know you will make it out alive because your tribe is behind you, with a glass of wine in hand.

Happy Mother’s Day to you!

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4 Comments Add yours

  1. Jennifer says:

    I adore your writing Lesley Lane! You made me teary with this one because I am so many of those moms. It has been an incredible struggle for me lately. Two babies in two years and I’m 39… I miss MYSELF, the one I was before just “mom.” I miss my career and rocking the shit out of my job, even if some days it was only to piss the men off by doing it better than they ever could, or proving to them (daily) that I was every bit as qualified to do the job, most of the time better, and that I deserved the position. I’m that mom who does 90% of it all on my own because my husband works several jobs and is gone or exhausted most of the time, so I often feel like I’m doing it alone. I’m definitely the one that questions everything, beats myself up day and night over what I can do better or should have done differently and asking, “have I screwed them up too badly already that a fresh start or do-over won’t fix them and they will grow up to be unhappy, unsuccessful-however they define that- or they will grow to hate or resent me? I don’t want to raise kids that have to spend their adult lives overcoming their childhood or years in therapy to undo anything I’ve done without intent or the realization. I’ve worked 4-5 jobs at a time, clocking 90+ hours a week in a stressful occupation. It pales in comparison with the stress and exhaustion- physically, mentally, and emotionally- that motherhood provides. It’s a job I wouldn’t trade for the world, but it is damn hard. Thanks so much for writing this. It was perfect for today and I may just print it out to read when I need a reassuring pat on the back. Happy Mother’s Day to you!!

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    1. The best advice I can give is to not take the most important job in the world too seriously. Sounds crazy, right? But it’s true. Roll with the punches. Learn to laugh at yourself and at your mistakes and accept the fact that you will fuck them up, somehow, some way, and it will be by doing something you never imagined could do so. Lastly, don’t beat yourself up too much. My favorite line to remember when I’m feeling less than a Mom is “the mom in ET had an alien living in her house for an entire week and she didn’t even know.” ❤

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  2. Tita says:

    Love this so much! I have been everyone of these moms! And I still am some of them!!! Thank you for this! Happy Mother’s Day! To one of the most awesome mom’s I know!

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  3. You are so wise and selfless to share your wisdom. I enjoyed this, particularly the prison hooch reference.

    Like

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