Sunday Morning

Nuzzled with my school books instead of my love. His nightly remedies still sit on the bedside table. His cologne still lingers. His laughter echoes. Only one day removed. I ache. The vase on the windowsill still nurtures and nature’s fruit is still green. My child still laughs. Coffee warm, pillows plump, sheets soft. The…

Why I Hated Your Ice Bucket Challenge and Why I’m Sorry

Three weeks ago everything was normal. My timeline was filled with the typical status updates – the political ones, the passive aggressive ones, the “your” instead of “you’re” ones, and the ones where I learn about a friend’s period flow or how much sex she had the night before. The photos were the same, too….

11 Things I Want My High School Freshman to Know

Tomorrow is number 11. Your 11th first day of school. I’ll never forget your first. You wore a white oxford shirt, a khaki dress, and black Mary Janes. Your K-4 teacher asked all of the students in your class to bring their favorite teddy bear on the first day. She said the bears would offer…

Moms Suck (it up)

You’ve heard the story a million times. Nursing Mom whips out her boob in the middle of Costco and some rude, heartless employee asks her to put her milk maker away and feed the hungry infant elsewhere. How dare they? Just last week in Charlotte, NC a mother asked employees at the Discovery Place museum…

Things Can Only Get Better

You must have known exactly what I was up to as I pulled two pennies out of my wallet. “Don’t use your silver,” you said. We were sitting alongside a modest stone fountain in the airport courtyard as you waited for your flight home. “Let’s make a wish, I said.” “And a promise for better…

You Can’t Masturbate With Short Arms

Facebook was all a-buzz yesterday, locally at least, after a (sort-of) local pastor shared a blog post he’d written several years back about masturbation. The Pastor, Perry Noble, of the multi-campus mega church New Spring, which spans several South Carolina counties including Greenwood, shared his masturbation blog on his personal Facebook page, leading both followers…

Paper Plates

They say that January is one of the most depressing months of the year. Christmas is over, stockings are packed away in the attic, egg nog has disappeared from grocery store shelves, and January just doesn’t seem to give us as many reasons for morning mimosas as December did. January forces us to take appraisal…

#piggate

When I was in high school pep rallies were made up of dancing cheerleaders, cocky football players, squawking students, and knee deep confetti, most often made out of newspaper and more often made by me. Pep rallies were always centered around an upcoming game, usually against an in-town rival. Boy, have times changed. Just yesterday…

Love Is Want

I’ll never forget the first time Erica asked me to spend the night with her. We were in the seventh grade, brand new to junior high school -a full year younger than my own daughter is today. I think the only class we had together that year was gym. We didn’t know one another before…

Hey Girl! Nice Vagazzle!

This blog has already established that I’m not as cool as I used to be. This blog has also established that there are a lot of things I know absolutely nothing about (including the correct placement of commas), but as ignorant as I am, I know one thing for sure. I know exactly what a…

A Damn Eight!

I’ve said more cuss words since Friday night than I’ve likely ever said in my entire life. If you know me then you know that’s quite a feat. I’ve been known to make a truck driver blush. Some might call my fondness for a good cuss word gauche. I like to think of it as…

He’s Gone

This house feels so empty. Admittedly, I was slightly shocked when I walked into the bathroom and his things were no longer lined up on the counter, ever so neatly in perfect Chris fashion. His comb and small purple hair brush…gone. His aftershave…gone. His toothbrush…gone. His hair thickening serum (the one he thinks might thicken…